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Let Tee Lin Say teaches you how to crush a girl

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I’m writing this piece in response to the article published on The Star entitled “No benefit in being fat” by Tee Lin Say. You can read it here.

I went through shit for being obese. I was recently hospitalised due to stress and my “unhealthy” lifestyle. My clothes are size 18. I can’t even fit most XL outfits (especially those produced with the Asian market in mind) and always have to settle with double or sometime the triple-X labels.

I admit, at times, being fat and obese don’t do me good. I sweat like a pig within the first 10 minutes of a dance class (and it was in an air conditioned studio). I get easily tired after 15 minutes of jogging or whatever sports that be. To the society, I am unattractive. I don’t make head turns. Quoting writer Tee Lin Say, when men look at me, their first thought was to run. Who wants to deal with a 600 pound baby elephant, eh?

If I was never hospitalised or if I had read this article prior to being warded, I would have published something equally nasty in return. Perhaps I’ll find a way to bump into you and spit on your face without hesitation. Hateful words of a stranger don’t affect me.

But I was surprised to see how crushed I was reading this. I, Nazirah Ashari, perhaps one of the most confident fat girls in the city of Kuala Lumpur – felt completely devastated by your monstrous and distasteful words. Your offensive writing resound in my head and for the first time in my life, I was broken by a stranger’s depiction of fatness.

Ms Tee, you know what you reminded me of?

You are one of those bullies who thinks they are too good and too superior by “society’s standard” that they deserve every right to talk to people the way you do in that disgusting article. You are the reason fat people like me gets hurt for things they shouldn’t be hurt for. Your hateful words made me rethink society’s perception of my fat self and I’m being honest when I say, for a few seconds, I am disgusted by my fatty nature. You are a reminder of a society so sick that they’re lost in the world of unreal designed-perfection and ignorance. To sum it all up, you are a bully. A monstrous one at that too.

I am a plus size by choice. Ah, the term plus size is too sympathetic. So let me rephrase that:

I am a fat girl by choice. For as long as I have lived, I have always been big in size. Always the biggest and one of the tallest in class and as I get older, my body doesn’t seem to shrink. I am not even embarrassed of that fact nor that I find myself incompetent, stupid, undisciplined or quoting you in this disturbing The Star article, “… have a lower social standing.” Ms Tee, please be known that I don’t give a damn about where I stand in the social scale.

I once was quite a healthy fat girl – size 16, active, was able to juggle a hectic part-time 8-10 hours barista job while studying. I maintained good grades and graduated with a first class degree. I was once a rather healthy size 18 lass who went on TV to talk about fat girls empowerment. I received messages and tweets from fellow young fat girls who was inspired by me. I made an impact. And I hope and believe I still am.

But what do you do? You are in a greater position to leave an impact and to inspire yet you did none. You disgraced the already-shattered name of journalism. You give bad name to nice slender individuals out there. You broke hearts. You crushed people.

You said, men, or people would wanna run away from baby elephants aka fat people like me. But do you know who never run away and continue dealing with people like me and my nonsense? My family and my friends – the people I love. Who needs shallow minded men or strangers when you have friends and family who cares and love you for who you are. Friends and family who are there by your side when you’re at your best and your worse. Friends and family whose take on the idea of being fat solely as being unhealthy, and every nag or advice comes from a good place called love. Friends and family who will never crush me. Never.

You know what, I’m still gonna let the old me use the magic words. Tee Lin Say, be very embarrassed of yourself, you’re such a disgraced and… fuck you very much.

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89 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. people like miss tee can and will always just say things without thinking. I just feel so sad for her and her choices of words she decided to use. Heck her overall articulation and usage of the english language is quite laughable. Just one word to you missy..Chin up and have a nice day.

    Reply

    • Hi Sully86,

      I cried when I wrote this, a lot. I skipped an iftar session with friends cause I can’t stop thinking about what she wrote. Went to Starbucks right after work and had only latte for iftar (I did ate real meal afterwards) and poured my heart out into this. If I hadn’t went through that stage of my life (being hospitalised), I doubt I’d even be writing any of this. I’d be mad as hell, yeah, but I won’t shed a tear for this. It hurts cause I haven’t heard hurtful words like that in a long time.

      Thanks so much for your kind words. You have a nice day too. 🙂

      Reply

  2. I guess she never met Cee Lo Green,winston churchill,John Goodman and Queen Latifah….don’t let one individual spoil your day….big guys and girls have more fun…including me…

    Reply

    • Hi Reza, how are you?

      Damn you’re right about everyone on that list. I love Queen Latifah, she’s one of my inspirations. I wanted to come out with a list of amazing talented most influential fat peeps in the world. Can you help me with that?

      And then there’s the fact that fat peeps are good singers too. THAT’S What’s up!

      You take care. And THANK YOU!

      Reply

  3. Dear,

    i have a good treatment to suggest to keep u healthy and beautiful..
    even a plus size..dont care what people says ya..
    u do not need to consume any medication,no injections,no operation..do email me
    if you want to know .

    Reply

  4. Dear Nazirah. Ignore the vile and moronic rantings of badly brought up useless writers like tee lin say and you continue to be YOU. Your family and friends love you unconditionally. You do not need the approval of idiots! So, you just thumb your nose at her, and turn your back on her, and continue to walk your own path. All the best to you!

    Reply

    • Dear Sheila,

      How are you?

      You’re a stranger, I know nothing about you but somehow your words and support feels like a warm hug.

      Thank you.

      Reply

  5. That’s the spirit sweet Nazirah Ashari, well said and for the final line to Tee Lin Say ! That Tee is a silly to boot, next she just might write about my brown skin and long nose. Kick up some dust kid, and have a great life. Love your stance and strength of character. God Bless.

    Reply

    • Hi Ranen,

      I wished I didn’t use the F word on that line. In my first draft, there wasn’t “very much”, only the first two words haha. But I told myself, I’m (slightly) better than that. I should say thank you to her for her words have made me a stronger person and that I’m now reading and replying to all these beautiful supportive comments from all of you. All this wouldn’t have happened without her writing that article and I wrote mine.

      I’m gonna have a great life, I know that for sure and it’s just about to get greater!

      THANK YOU. I truly appreciate this.

      Reply

  6. Dude… I’m size 18 too! high-five!

    okk, no need to get all worked up over the article.
    It came from a women whose profession is … whattt…. “face-reading”?
    Laughed-my-fat-ass-out for that piece…
    You can’t expect facts coming up from people who does that sorta job hun…
    She gets paid for her bullshit and that’s what she utters too…
    Chill out and Happy Ramadhan 🙂

    Reply

      • Hey Hakim (don’t tell me you’re my boss/colleague who is also named Hakim haha),

        Size UK18 is like XXL or XXXL depending on the cutting. They have their own fixed measurement of course but roughly that. 🙂

        Reply

  7. I read the article & went OMG lol when she start talking National Geographic. As someone who loves nature & big fan of NatGeo I can’t believe she make all the nonsense reference about predators. Really? Really?!

    And there’s so much naive nonsense in her article that makes me wonder how old is she. 12?

    BTW, my personal belief is that a person do need to be healthy. One does not need to be skinny to do that. However, if you do have some health problem due to your weight, its time to hit the mountain or hills. Forget the gym. Broga, Bukit Tabur, Gunung Dato, Mount KK can teach you more than a gym instructor. Or try martial art and be a ‘proper’ predator. 🙂

    Reply

    • Sup Jacq,

      I’m doing little things, taking the stairs climbing up my apartment at level 8 instead of the lift for example. I walk a lot too cause I don’t drive. I need to do more, I know that. I’m thinking dancing cause I used to love dancing and be good at it. I just haven’t got the time to enrol in a dance class or something but I most probably would. I’ve always been plus size but I was wayyyyyy fit before than I am now. I just need to get back to it.

      Thanks for your advise. And your Nat Geo reference – that’s funny.

      Reply

  8. Yunno. She has not only mocked fat/obese people but she has also harshly judged those who are not within her perception of the “ideal” body type ie. the thin uncles with tummies. What is even more cruel in her judgment of these people is how she links their body types to their failed and inferior personalities such as being dishohest. Are big people all liars?? Who is she to make such sweeping judgments? Based on science and research? Millions of people are struggling to lose weight for health and cosmetic reasons and some have it easier because of metabolism and better genes and so on and she does not have the right to put down so many people with her flawed reasoning. Millions know the health effects of being over weight and she does not need to twist the knife into the victims with such an article. If it was meant for humour, millions are not laughing.

    Reply

    • Hey James,

      I used to struggle to lose weight for cosmetic reasons and failed miserably. It never worked. I was uptight. Not happy. But when I don’t and I have positive attitude towards life, work and what not, I was in a much better place. I am concern about my current weight and my lifestyle and this non stop headache I’ve been having, but I wasn’t like that before and you should know that I’ve been a plus size all my life. I never know what it is like to be slim and slender. And yet still that doesn’t mean I wasn’t healthy, no? I think the minds play a much bigger role than the physique. Don’t you agree?

      Ok, I better stop. I don’t know what I’m talking about but thank you! Have a good one James.

      Reply

  9. Stop crying and rationalizing yourself that being fat is okay. You know it’s not. It’s hard to leave a comfort zone. It’s SUPER hard to lose weight, but I have watched with my own eyes, my friends and strangers who were once fat now turn into beautiful ladies and charming princes.

    It takes dedication and hard solid reason(no, you dont get up in the morning and feel like working out, doesnt work that way). You never know what’s the chances you have in life by changing yourself. Everyone has their own challenge. Don’t just rationalize yourself to the core and watch your age goes by as you rationalize it’s ok and happy to be fat. ‘Oh see, I am even a motivation now to the fat girls. Stop trying, be happy like me’.

    Make a research about healthy food and exercise, get a trainer for 10 sessions so you know what you can do by yourself later(cardio alone is not enough), twice a month are a cheat day-eat whatever shit you want, get a weight scale, make a note and schedule, watch motivation videos. Oh sounds tedious right? ‘Might as well I just be happy living in this fat body.’

    If you don’t agree, it’s okay. I understand egos very well. Just post this, let it benefit the other fat girls. To others, your time is now. This is your challenge. You cannot be yourself. You have to be your BEST SELF. If not, it’s okay, rationalize yourself and watch other fatties lose weight.

    Reply

    • Being fat is not okay, but we need to tell ourselves it’s okay to get on with life eventho we are fat. That we deserves to wake up every morning and live a happy life. I think that’s what this writer is trying to do. She’s not trying to tell herself that it’s okay to be fat, that she’s comfortable with it and she doesn’t need to lose weight..

      Reply

      • Dear Etieqa,

        Can I give you a hug?

        p.s. I do need to lose weight. I’ve been a plus size all my life but I’ve never weigh this high. Gonna need to shed down at least 10 kilos then I’m good while still being a plus size.

        Reply

    • Hey 29,

      I don’t filter any of my comments. So don’t worry, I’m gonna let fellow fat girls read what you have to say but I should clarify:

      1) I didn’t cry because I finally realised that being fat is not good. I made the choice to stay fat and have curves and I’m gonna stay being me – that fat girl with curves. Thick skin, plus size. Whatever you call it. I cried when I wrote this entry because I am reminded of my love ones. I cried because there are still bullies out there, adult bullies. It scares me that they have such power to influence society’s perception of what they think are right yet show no substance and support in return.

      2) When you say you’ve seen friends and other people who lose weight becoming much more beautiful when they have shed down those kilos, does that mean fat people are not? Do you think I should become slimmer to be prettier?

      3) I don’t have that kind of ego you think I do. I’m writing not because I wanna prove my stance – influence people that being fat is the way of life – no. I’m writing cause I was hurt. The decision whether or not I choose to continue being fat or opt for a drastic change in my lifestyle is all up to me and the others too.

      I know your words come for a good place and I’d like to thank you for that. Please be known that I am all for a healthier me. I’ve been there – plus size and healthy. I was once fit. But do you know the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin? I am and have always been comfortable, loving my thick skin, my curves. So I’m gonna stick being me, perhaps healthier than I am now. But skinny Naz? I don’t know. Maybe not.

      You take care. 🙂

      Reply

  10. hey girl,

    I’m big all my life too. I am all for slimming down n all for a healthier lifestyle! I know all about the health hazards of being a big person. But heck! Some of us just cannot slim down. Health reasons, medical conditions n the list goes on. What we can do is live a life that full and happy life and not let bullies like that TSL biatch run us down.

    I was outraged by that piece of turd she wrote. Not angry or teary as I’ve accepted that I am who I am ages ago. But angry beyond words at her bigoted trashy work. Pigs, cows, pandas, elephants n whale likeness !!! well, i totally agree with you that she sounded like a bully. Maybe she has childhood issues and it is manifesting in her work now! her insecure ‘fat’ self !!! I am outraged with the disrespect she shows fellow humans and the insults she hurls so liberally. She has not tact n not to mention manners! I will bet that this is one unhappy borderline depressed skinny flat chick! 😀 ok I’m being mean here now… but I digress…

    Anyway, I just want to drop a note n say that Ms Tee is a rude and obnoxious bully! Leave her be and rejoice in your colorful life! No skinny biatch is worth a good iftar!!! ok, starbucks coffee is not bad an iftar but don’t let her drag you down into her depths… she might be way down the black hole of unhappiness. Cheer up, Nads!

    hugs from a whale! (yes, I often tell people i’m a beached whale and I’m perfectly happy whale like!)

    Reply

    • Hey Jo,

      Have anyone ever tell you that you’re awesome?
      Thank you for your note and here’s a virtual hug from a fellow whale! Now I’m starting to see whale from a different perspective.

      Take care.

      Reply

  11. oh nazirah….why did you waste your tears over such a useless piece of ‘article’. It is important to be healthy but thinness does not buy health nor happiness.i am sure you already know all these. Just feel so angry when these stupid people manage to crush sweet girls like you. May God bless you good health all your life!!

    Reply

    • Oh Selva… why not waste a few tears knowing that awesome people like you would take their time and write me beautiful comments, no?

      Thank you!

      Reply

  12. Kita boleh membantu banyak perkara jika menggunakan bahasa melayu khususnya membantu kalangan mereka (yang tidak uapaya memahami bahasa inggeris) yang dimundurkan hanya oleh perbezaan pandangan…

    Reply

    • Apa khabar Lelawati?

      Saya ada terfikir untuk menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu. Jujurnya saya menulis lebih baik dalam Bahasa berbanding English. Adakah kamu rasa waras untuk saya menterjemah tulisan saya ini? Saya setuju dengan cadangan kamu dan sangat terdorong untuk menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu semoga mesej saya akan dapat disampaikan dengan lebih meluas lagi.

      Terima kasih.

      Reply

  13. I applaud you Ms. Ashari. I was extremely dismayed at what she wrote. Generally I thought it was a health article but it just turn into an ugly bashing one. I’m part time writer myself and at first I thought it was just a way to get the attention of the reader in the beginning but halfway through it became malicious and just plain discriminatory. You are on a better standing scale by replying in a manner we should be proud off. My hats off to you!

    Reply

    • Dear Max,

      First off, you can call me Nazirah or Nazz. 🙂
      To have a writer saying that to me means the whole world to me. I’m an aspiring writer but if I ever gonna publish a fiction (which I’m working on one), it will be in Bahasa.

      Thank you so much Max. Have a good one.

      Reply

  14. Dear Nazirah,

    I am FAT too, according to Ms. Tee. I wear XXL clothes and working as a Senior Manager. When I read her article….I was angry but most of all disturbed….disturbed that people like her exist….disturbed at what she may contribute out there in terms of ‘bullying’ and disturbed at how rude she was.

    Then I thought to myself…I am in a relationship for 15 years with 2 beautiful children and they love me for me….so to heck with her limited perceptions. I am gorgeous and I don’t need anyone to confirm or deny that because it is true for me…as how her article is true for her.

    Be proud of who you are….and anyway….there is more of us to be love….size and all.

    Reply

    • Dear Yusmar,

      It’s all in the heads, ain’t it? I feel the same too at times – I dress well, I look presentable for most of the time, I’m confident and I think I’m entitle to that “gorgeous” word. You just gave me the courage to say it for the first time cause I never say this to myself:

      I AM GORGEOUS!

      Thank you!

      Reply

  15. Hey Nazirah, I chanced upon your piece on AWARE’s FB. Kudos on speaking up and expressing your views. If it is any consolation, the piece written by that writer on The Star is a pathetic piece that I’m surprised was even published. It is poorly structured, spiteful and imbecilic. Has it actually been published in a national newspaper? What a disgrace to the world of journalism.

    Reply

    • Hey Faz,

      How are you? AWARE Singapore you mean? It’s crazy to know that the article went viral as far as Singapore thanks to the social media. Yes, it was published in the Sunday Star if I’m not mistaken. Or was it Saturday? I just read it online and yes, it is indeed a disgrace to the world of journalism but then it’s The Star, I’m not even surprised.

      Thanks.

      p.s. Stalked you a bit just now. Babe, you’re gorgeous!

      Reply

  16. The Star’s game is to direct traffic to their website and they do this by trolling interest groups who react by blogging. They have a click counter that registers how many visits their page gets, and they use the figures they gather to give advertisers an idea of what kind of exposure they are likely to get when they advertise in The Star. This is not greed, it’s part of how capitalist media works. If the Star did not have valuable advertising space it would go out of business. Value is created by having bigger readership.

    Tee Lin Say is one of the paid workers that receives money for providing content that attracts clicks. She probably did some kind of communications degree at a University and this is what she does with it, writes trash media for a dud Malaysian rag. I guess there were no gigs going at The New York Times when she gradated from Bumfuck College, Kelana Jaya with a credit average. Yeah right.

    Best thing you all can do is not click on her shit. Hopefully the boys up in Mahogany Row at The Star will see she’s not pulling much of a crowd and give her the ass. Then maybe she’ll have time to go back and do her Masters.

    Reply

    • Sup Greg,

      Don’t we already know about this whole The Star’s game. Yet I still clicked on it. I think it was because Amir Muhammad posted it on his FB and you know his credibility is pretty legit so of course I wanted to give it a read. And then there’s the word “fat”, so you have the idea – fat girls clicking on fat stuff. Haha.

      I will make a point to post this next as a reminder. You rock! Thanks!

      Reply

  17. im a size 20-22 woot woot! one good thing being born in a family of big people… im a girl yet i kind do heavy lifting and guy stuff, so at least when my friend ask for help, i know i can do it. i know i can help my dad whose having some lutut problem and my mom who can barely lift sekarung beras at home. u know those skinny ass with dumbass mind kind of people would look for us if they need help like that. ptuih. *i fat n i dance and im kool like that.

    Reply

    • Thanks Tien.

      Anyways, are you Vietnamese? My favorite singer-songwriter is Thao Nguyen (of Thao and The Get Down Stay Down) and Nguyen is her family name and that’s my only reference and it’s random too and I definitely should stop now haha. Thanks again.

      Reply

  18. My Dear, Don’t worry there are so many out there like Ms Tee. Give a damm to them. Now on consider myself as your friend. G-d bless you.

    Reply

  19. Good on you for writing this article. I have good friends who are fat and they are attractive. The only thing I worry about them is thei health. That’s all. As long as they are healthy, that’s fine x

    Reply

    • Dear Hafiz,

      My goal in life is to be happy (more than I want to be successful) and I believe your friends are too. If being healthy is what we need to be happy, I think we all are willing to do that. I’m heading towards that direction but one thing for sure, I won’t change anything about me: A curvy girl with thick skin who have loads of love to offer.

      Thank you.

      Reply

  20. This piece was in the Star?? I know I have been behind my newspaper reading, but to think that the quality of articles they published have dropped so low… Are you sure it’s not a hoax website?

    Let me tell you some things as a person blessed with a slimmer body. Slim/skinny does not equal healthy. I used to eat junk food and fast food almost every day. I used to drink carbonated water all the time. Just because I have high metabolism rate, I stay skinny despite what, and how much, I eat. How can you say I am healthy? My arteries are probably more clogged than yours are. Nowadays I make time to exercise, and eat (just a little bit) healthier. You may not lose that much weight, but your muscles will be more toned, and you yourself will feel healthier. You don’t need others’ judgemental eyes to tell you how healthy you are.

    I understand your dismay and perhaps sadness that was brought upon by that malicious article. We do live in a society where looks leave an impact. However, it is not the only thing that matters. Fat people are lazy? I am skinny and I am far lazier than anyone else. Fat people are dishonest? Is the writer a fortune teller or something? How you look does not solely define your personality. Be who you are, and change to better yourself, not because someone thinks you should.

    Reply

  21. Dear ALL who are FAT…I AM FAT! 90 kg and adding.
    Why are we choosing to take Tee Lin Say’s article negatively? She is TRYING to wake us up! Nazirah in one part said you ADMITTED that being fat does you no good but then you contradict yourself and blame Tee for writing the truth. Nazirah, you have been hospitalized so do note that your life is in danger. Honestly, you look beautiful woman but fat has hidden your beauty. You and I have to move our butt and start walking and stop eating Nasi Lemak and McD and KFC and all the fast food oily food, this is the first step.
    I had ALWAYS wanted someone in our Government to force us to exercise or RAISE TAXES if we are fat (haha) but they are too scared to be “nasty” as they want to stay in as the ruling party. I have had to start taking blood pressure pills now and it scares me.
    Yes, the choice is up to us to be “nasty” and call her a “bully” and “curse” her but remember the CONSEQUENCE of us being FAT. Wont hurt her, she is fit, she probably wont die from a heart attack or have stroke, FAT PEOPLE LIKE US WILL! If we can die from these sickness is ok, but…what are the consequences if we end up in a vegetative state due to stroke? Our beloved family will suffer taking care of us, not us…we are already brain dead! :'(
    WAKE UP MALAYSIANS please!
    Khairy, Sports Minister, save us please!

    Reply

  22. personally… after I read the article yesterday
    I was like… ‘meh, another miserable hater…’
    i was disturbed for maybe like a minute
    then i just simply forget about her
    I’m not gonna trash talk her because I will not stoop to her level
    but my dear, kudos for writing this
    because what people like Tee lacks is the ability to put herself in our shoes

    I, for one have never been small my entire life

    chin up girl, because especially in Asia. being skeletal is all the rage

    personally for me, as long as you’re healthy and happy. nothing else really should matters

    -Izy-

    Reply

  23. Personally, I don’t think the number on the scale really measure a person’s heart, personality, wealth or how much they enjoy life. Measurement for health, probably. Eg. More weight means more stress on the bones and joints, increase risks for heart diseases, etc.

    Sadly, she pointed out some truths in the society – most people judge other heavier people, especially in the corporate world. They think that heavier people are lazy, unreliable, and undisciplined. I have friends who have trouble getting a job because of their weight =( BUT, they are the most hardworking, disciplined people I know. They work more than 12 hours, sleep less than 4 hours, and spend the rest traveling Peninsular Malaysia for their research/contractual work. Everyday. They are nice people who are kind, smart, considerate and funny.

    You know, ignore people like her. She is ignorant (trust me, I watch NatGeo Wild with my dad and the lean lions are really, starving), mean and dumbly looking at the world from the wrong end of the binoculars. I could go on, but I think you know what I mean. The only people she put down by writing that, is herself.

    Reply

  24. I am shock that the star will publish that kind of article.
    I’d notice in her article that she is trying to say that the rich people is not fat? WTF??
    shock that some people can be that shallow.
    well girl, why did you let this shallow spoil brat get you. you suppose to be confident about yourself no matter what size you are.
    men or people would run away from baby elephants?? phulesseeee!!!! i am fat but i have a man that crazily and obsess about me by my side! not trying to brag but, not every people in this earth as shallow as she is. just remember, a good guy wont judge from your appearance. they will accept who you are and they love your personal character, your confident level (people says that the confident is sexy and i couldn’t agree more!), your kindness, and how do you face the world. that’s the only matter.
    i have read an article a stupid woman that wanted to marry a rich husband and get slammed by J.P. Morgan.
    (Here is the article: http://elitedaily.com/money/ceo-jp-morgan-replies-pretty-girl-seeking-rich-husband/ ).
    we would fall if we just depends on appearance but dint mean to say that we can be selekeh.
    beauty wont last forever but inner beauty wont fade away.
    To this silly Tee Lin Say: you do have a chance to be fat!!

    okey….i think i’m a bit off topic now but since i’ve type it so long, i decide to just submit it.

    dear, i am a stranger who don’t even know who you are. but would love to be one of your good friend. email me :p

    Reply

  25. I just read her article after reading yours. Bapak kurang ajar!

    Reply

  26. Hi Nazirah, don’t let her words brings you down. The best revenge is to stay happy and healthy and be comfortable with who you are. Remember, big people have big hearts.

    Reply

  27. Hi,
    This article got linked by someone I know if FB. Firstly a disclaimer:
    I’m not a fat girl. Not even a girl. Not even a girl trapped in a guys body.

    I struggled with my weight for years, so I know what it’s like to be the “larger” person in a group. It is hard at time. But I agree with an earlier poster, some people try try but cannot cannot lose weight. Or are heavy but fit. Takes all sorts. I’ve met/seen/known beautiful people of all sizes. Known some pretty ugly skinny people too… ugly on the inside. Where it counts.

    Keep up the good work gal.

    Reply

  28. I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem – We are all born with natural beauty, we are unique and dazzling. Each of us have a very distinctive look and we simply cannot brand a person and say he/she is the prettiest. How is she/he different from the rest? We come in different sizes but we are equally beautiful. You are always free to disagree with me. In this case not a beauty meg but news paper. Btw this is part of the lyrics from Savage Garden (I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem). I just added on to make u understand better. Love your reply. You rock your size girl! Dnt worry about what ppl have to say! F*** them!!

    Reply

  29. I am all for being healthy and keeping the weight down and manageable.. However, I do not think this Tee Lin Say #teelinsay is a “writer”. #teelinsay #shitwriter #thestar

    Maybe she thought she was “candid” or “humorous” or “honest” or “witty” or “sassy” .. Well, Tee Lin Say is none of that. She is most likely the worst writer in The Star — Ultimately with no conscious thought or writing objectives. She is most definitely the most “deep” writer you are going to meet .. She relates to face reading, nothing factual in her article about health.

    SO .. Let us just say, you write well. With heart. And in MANY ways, I think we should be thankful we do not have to see a picture of Tee Lin Say .. For all you know, her face has dimensions that indicate she is a mean, obnoxious, inconsiderate, thoughtless and maybe even shallow person – WHO should not be a writer.

    Peace

    Reply

  30. The world needs more people like you to voice out your thoughts. You are indeed a role model for many girls. 🙂

    Cheers!

    Reply

  31. Pingback: Big, Not Blonde and Beautiful | Random Deliria

  32. I think people like seeing 600 pound baby elephants. The stuffed toy and anime industry is all about roundness, it denotes a certain softness and adorableness.

    Probably why my family and friends keep calling me “fluffy” and are always happy when we hug.

    I guess a pole thin person (just her actually) are uncomfortable to hug, and that’s why she has less love and has spite for hug-able people. So let her words run down our “hard to spot” neck/back, because people like her probably didn’t have enough hugs/love in her life.

    Reply

  33. Pingback: my response: no benefit in being an asshole | all about dylan ray

  34. Hey, I hope you see this and respond to me! My father told me to read the article and your blog just now when I came from school!! It IS MEAN!!! She’s a very mean person!!! 🙁 I’m sorry that she hurt you!!! She also hurt my bud too!!! I am so angry she wrote that!!!

    If you have the heart and time, come and see me be mean too but I hope you won’t be upset after reading it:
    http://allaboutdylanray.wordpress.com/2013/07/23/my-response-no-benefit-in-being-an-asshole/

    Reply

  35. nazirah, you rock, great response to a totally insensitive writer (if we can call her that)…

    Reply

  36. Thank you for sharing this nazirah. I am not a plus size girl but I was totally and completely disgusted by her article. It was not only completely inappropriate and insulting but you are right, she is a bully through and through. She is overcompensating her lack of confidence with slimness, such a shallow worldview. Someone like that can never be happy because her happiness us based on the physical which will fade. So don’t let a bad and totally untalented writer get you down. The star shouldn’t publish articles which are of such low standards.

    To top it all, she really isn’t a good writer. Immature sentence construction and pretty badly put together thought. Your writing is much better. You should send in a letter to star.

    Reply

  37. Hey girl! Don’t be phased by her words, she is but a mere journalist who thinks herself above everyone. My mum too was hurt by her article. I just felt enraged. So, don’t worry, be happy, as they say. Eat, drink and love.
    P.S: I do not think a man looks down upon overweight woman .I think they love ’em!

    Reply

  38. 5 Benefits of being fat – just as there are benefits to being “plain” :

    1) you try harder than everyone else who has life handed to them on a platter JUST because of their looks.

    2) As such, you appreciate good things – and people – more.

    3) you are underestimated from Day One. Nothing in life gives you an edge than being underestimated. I teach my kids that every day. I call it our Ninjadvantage. They’re not fat (yet) but I raise them as if they were.

    4) you learn to make use of your other assets from the get-go.

    5) fat people are more likable because people think they’re less of a threat. Refer to point #3. Nobody loves a skinny Santa.

    There. Article disproved.

    Reply

  39. Hello Nazirah,

    I’m writing from a tiny red dot. Guess your article made it across national borders. Thank god for the internet. I don’t normally like to engage myself in an internet discussion but something about your letter compels me to do otherwise.

    Firstly, let’s just say, stupid, bigoted people are everywhere and they transcend language, race, religion and gender. As much as I go to sleep at night wishing the world to be a better place, everyday I come across instances that almost render my wish at night useless. As much as I understand where your hurt is coming from, I have to say that what matters most here is your ability to pick yourself up. Because that is what is going to make everything ok. People like you are going to make the world a better place to live. People like you are going to change mindsets. People like you are going to make me sleep better at night knowing there are others fighting the same battle I see myself struggling against.

    But to do this, i think its a step at a time, one individual at a time. But we’ll get there eventually. With God’s grace. I wish you all the happiness in the world and nothing less.

    Reply

  40. Hey babe,
    Don’t bother what she says, usually I regard them as sour grape.
    She must have hated fat people so much to put such distasteful and immature comparison.
    Akin to you I cried and felt useless all my life, being labelled fat blatantly on my face by of worse, educated people and Im UK12. The abuses were there even when I was 51kg when ppl call me big.
    I have learnt not to give a damn about fats and whatever opinion they wanted to pass, the only reason I worked out is when my consious told me I need too as my skirts are getting tight.

    Cheers babe, big is not a crime nor sin. Evil heart is 🙂

    Reply

  41. Kindly email all insults to lindsaynews@gmail.com 😛 hoho!

    Dear Lindsay,

    You do realise that you are actually writing an article for the entire public to read and react upon, not a personal blog where you get to rant about how tired you are of seeing fat people?
    You do realise that the majority of the world do not rely on facial features to determine one’s self worth, succes, fame or fortune?
    You do realise that you are taking this face reading thing a tad overboard?
    You do realise that not everyone is blessed (or should i say cursed?) with skinny legs, skinny butt, skinny tits?
    You do realise that your picture is all over the web, and unfortunately for you- you have no supermodel looks?
    Ever heard the saying, I may be fat but I can diet. But you, you are just plain ugly. In and out.
    You are undeniably skinny.
    But since when does being skinny makes you superior to others?
    Since when was it ok to refer to people as whales and elephantine?
    Has anyone referred to you as flat chested? Chinky? Sepet? Flat faced? Flat? Twiggy?
    Since when have skinny people ruled the world, while us fat people are confined to being your subordinates?
    I, sincerely, would love to use my elephantine feet to stamp on your skinny self.
    Whoop your bony self to a pulp with my whale-ish figure.
    You disgust me.

    To The Star, I think you have disgraced yourself by allowing this skinny bitch to post such condescending personal and unjustifiable remarks.

    I am holding back every bone in my body trying to not sink to her level and comment on her face and what it means, as much as I would love to right now.
    Lindsay or Lin Say or whatever your name is;
    Just apologise and do it with grace and sincerity.
    I hope that you grow fat with age and become the person you hate the most.
    Most people can’t change their physiques, but can change their attitudes.
    You on the other hand, I am afraid, cannot change your attitude.
    Stop being so fatist, what is it that you have against fat people?
    How have fat people scorned you in the past?

    Has anyone told you this.
    You are skinny AND ugly.
    You are a crap writer.
    Your specialty in face reading is just a bunch of bull.
    You do not deserve a place in The Star.
    You might think that you are above fat people.
    Truth is, you writing this article has made the whole world look down on you.
    Good luck in trying to get on top again, Bitch.

    Salam Ramadhan.

    Reply

  42. Hey Nazirah,

    Well said. I admire your stand against such an ignorant article.

    I admit despite the size that I am – I was insulted by the article too.

    I was once a fat chick who was made fun of, put down, shunned and rejected. I was practically called every fat nick name under the sun.

    For years I had low confidence, self-esteem and hid my body under baggy clothes to hid my unsightly curves or muffin top. My family even went as far as to tell me that if I didn’t diet or lose weight I will never find a man or get married.

    But one day I decided no more, I am not going to feel bad about my size. I love to eat, I exercise and I don’t have any health problems so why give a damn. And I became happy.

    Then by a miracle I started to drop the weight. Weird thing is…now everyone who used to call me fat and gave me terrible nick names now say I have an eating disorder. So, tell me…will the constant judgement and name calling ever stop?

    I am however happy where I am now and nothing anyone says can take this away from me. I did it on my own and achieved what society perceives as perfect. But it was on my terms. My choice.

    So reading this article really hit a nerve in me, especially when linking us to animals and associating being fat to being uneducated and poor. That is just ignorant talk by a moron who is so stuck up her skinny arse on her equally skinny high horse.

    Big is beautiful and anyway even if you are stick thin but have a nasty black heart, what difference would it make. It shouldn’t matter what size a person is, but the quality of life, whether a person is healthy and the good things they do and their contributions that should matter. Not the size of their waistline.

    That being said, we all need to be healthy anyway, we all know that, and we don’t need someone being nasty and point it out to us in a demeaning, degrading and insulting way.

    The article should read “No Benefit to Being an Insect Idiot”.

    Hope you have a great day Nazirah, and no more tears please. She is so ain’t worth it. You will always be the better person than she can ever dream to be.

    Reply

  43. Name calling and judgemental thinking people like Ms Tee over here is those people who causes suicidal thoughts and self harm.Beauty is rather skin and individualistic. Beauty is seen different from everyone’s eye.This post really opens up my eye. Brava.

    Reply

  44. M wondering since u do dance. Let’s do a Zumba marathon to also raise funds to fatten up some kids during raya. N let’s invite all these beautiful ppl to also join in the party

    Reply

    • Hey James,

      I haven’t dance in a while and haven’t done Zumba despite its’ popularity but I would love to do a marathon to do this! Oh well, unless you’re just being sarcastic. Let me know. 🙂

      Reply

  45. well said, i’m sure when my wife read this blog, she definitely gonna agree with u.
    yes, i stumble upon few comments up there saying bout Queen Latifah, Cee Lo, n what about our very own Allahyarham Tan Sri P. Ramlee? he’s fat too, n he got talents to wow the crowd, unlike some other skinny skimpy so called good looking babe/hunk out there just sit their lazy ass, ranting abt fat ppl.
    there’s a say abt fat ppl “I’m fat, U’r ugly. But i can diet..” 🙂

    Happy Ramadhan

    Reply

  46. 29 and Connie: Shut the f**k up. You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. 51kg fat? Seriously? Are you a closet bulimic, or just plain schizoprenic?

    Baby girl Nazirah? You rock, babe! You rule the world with your heart, and it shows in your writing.

    I’ve edited copy for The New York Times, and I am telling you now. You got the writing gift, babe. It comes from your heart!

    Reply

  47. Salam nazirah,
    I’m size 20 and sometimes 22.. Can we hang out too? Hahaaa..
    Love your spirit girl!!! Glad to have a phat sista like you.. Xoxo

    Reply

  48. U are fat by choice? I dont get it. Who wld choose to be fat. I get tht its a struggle for many to achieve the ideal weight but choosing to be fat? Enuf with the excuses. Who doesnt sweat like a pig ten minutes into zumba or aerobics.. and in the spirit of ramadhan, especially for a girl wearing tudong, skip the profanity please.

    Reply

  49. Pingback: 2014… The year of That Fat Tudung Party Girl. |

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